50 Reasons to Ship Dramione
by Fulgance
Summary: Short drabbles & not-so-well-reasoned arguments in defense of Dramione, in which Draco is repeatedly compared to a house-elf. /!\ Warning /!\ The author lacks a good sense of humour.
1. Because of the Epilogue from Hell

**So this story is different from anything I have ever posted... I have absolutely no idea where this is going, aside from it being a Dramione romance. I don't know how long it'll take me to find 50 reasons, but as all chapters will be stand-alone, I'm posting this as it comes. Don't expect regular updates!**

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

**All right, so in this chapter I mocked a few Dramione clichés. I am a huge fan of Dramione, so don't take it the wrong way. ^^ Again, just for fun.**

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°1:<strong> Because you hate the epilogue from hell, because what kind of name is Albus Severus and who the hell _is_ Astoria?

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><p>Hermione stood on Platform Nine and ¾, watching the Hogwarts Express slowly set off on its journey. So many years had passed since Hermione had last been here... Her oldest child, Rose, was now off for her first year at Hogwarts. Rose had her hair and her eyes and most importantly her smarts, so Hermione wasn't worried in the least, but she knew she would miss her daughter.<p>

Out of the corner of her eye, something caught her attention. Twenty feet away, Draco Malfoy was staring at her. Something else she hadn't seen in so many years. She had been shocked to see his hairline was receding. It made him look older, of course, in a more serious and mature way. His son, from the brief glimpse she had caught of him before he went on the train, looked exactly like him at a younger age.

_* Here, readers wonder how many children actually resemble their parents this closely. Rose, Scorpius, Albus, oh and probably James too only with his mother's eyes, and Lily is somehow the spitting image of her grandmother because she has her name.*_

She stared back, wondering whether Malfoy was thinking the same things about her.

Ron laid a hand on her arm as the Hogwarts Express disappeared. "There goes our daughter," he said with pride. "She really had better beat Scorpius everywhere."

"_Ron_," she said, irritated.

"I'm just joking, 'Mione."

* _Readers start to feel ill at the first occurrence of this nickname.*_

"Ron," she said. "Go ahead with Hugo, won't you? I'll stay behind because, er, I need to go to the toilet."

"That's fine, Hermione, even though really you could just wait until we got home since we're Apparating or maybe taking a Portkey and it'll only take about 2.7 seconds."

Ron and Hugo, and Harry and Ginny and little Lily left, and for some reason Astoria vanished into thin air. Hermione and Malfoy – no, _Draco_ – stared into each other's eyes for a while, and then Draco walked over to her and they spoke.

"If I had loved you," she murmured, looking deep into his eyes, "then it would have been really complicated, but eventually we would have married even though I'm not a pureblood."

"And if _I_ had loved you, then we'd have had two children, a daughter and a son, or maybe even twins. They'd have my eyes because I have the prettiest eyes ever, misty and silvery and tortured, and maybe one of them would have your colour hair but it most definitely wouldn't be bushy. The girl might have big, chocolate, amber eyes but of course they'll never be just plain brown."

"Oh yes," Hermione agreed. "We'd have the most beautiful children ever. And they'd both be really witty and smart because it would be in their genetics."

"And we'd give them the best names ever," Draco said dreamily. "Like Lyra or Castor or Constellation or Alcyone or Cassiopeia or – Insert Wikipedia search for constellation names here -. They would never be called after dead old crackpots and creepy double-agents or dead people who _married each other_ like Potter's kids."

"Plus it would make _sense_ for us to marry," Hermione said. "It would give a real sense of closure – redemption, forgiveness and all. We've known each other for years."

"Yeah," Draco agreed. "I've never even heard of this Astoria girl. I didn't even know Daphne had a sister! And me marrying a pureblood... I don't feel like my character has grown up all that much."

"Plus if we were together we'd never grow old," Hermione said. "In fanfiction, wrinkles don't exist unless they're _lines etched by worry and hardships and angst and the power of love_. You wouldn't have that receding hairline."

"The epilogue would have been perfect if we had been together," Draco sighed.

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><p><strong>Okay, so sue me, I'm a Dramione fan. I do think the epilogue would have been perfect with this pairing - but I never expected it to happen. ^^ It could never have happened. Wishful thinking is nice, though.<strong>

**I have read so many Dramione fics describing the pairing's children that I realised they almost always looked the same... One parent's eyes and the other's hair. Not that there's anything wrong with that... only, well, there are other distinguishing features than eyes and hair.**


	2. Because of Grey Eyes

**So this story is different from anything I have ever posted... I have absolutely no idea where this is going, aside from it being a Dramione romance. I don't know how long it'll take me to find 50 reasons - I have about 30 already, but just the reasons, not the drabbles themselves -, but as all chapters will be stand-alone, I'm posting this as it comes. Don't expect regular updates!**

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°2:<strong> Because grey eyes offer so many metaphor possibilities.

It was undeniable, Hermione thought as she caught Draco staring at her. Malfoy had the most stunning, sad, hurt, attractive, gorgeous, hot, icy, silvery, mercurial, misty, dark, pale, soft, warm _* at this point the author reaches for a thesaurus *_, hard, cold, tortured, cool, collected, haunted, unforgiving, expressive, colour-of-molten-silver, piercing, unbelievable, sweet, sexy, deep, soulless, terrible, lose-yourself-in-their-depths, colour-of-the-sky-on-a-cloudy-day, grey eyes _ever_. They also somehow managed to be at the same time colour-of-the-sky-on-a-sunny-day, icy blue, silvery-blue-with-grey-flecks, so-light-blue-they-were-almost-grey-but-they're-NOT-because-apparently-blue-is-just-so-much-hotter.

Her own eyes were so dull in comparison, so ambery and warm and like liquid chocolate.

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><p><strong>Look, it's true, isn't it? I love sexy grey eyes (they're <span>not<span> blue, please) as much as the next fangirl, so I'm just poking fun.** **I'm guilty of this, too.**


	3. Because of Fire & Ice

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°3:<strong> Fire and Ice, anyone?

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><p>Typically Hermione would be Fire and Draco would be Ice.<p>

Because Hermione _is_ fiery. She isn't hot-headed or short-tempered, but she's shown she can lose her cool when it matters (*cough* slapping Draco, anyone? *cough*). She's passionate, brave, and determined. She's also fiery in the _warm_ sense of the term, the hot vs. cold one: she's caring and compassionate. Remember S.P.E.W. and how nice she was to Kreacher even though he called her a Mudblood? She can see past insults and see the real person inside. Hermione is much more likely to forgive Draco than anyone else. If one person could lead Draco to redemption, she's the one.

Draco, on the other hand, comes off right at the start as cold, snotty and speaking with an I-could-care-less (or maybe I'm-so-much-better-than-you) drawl. An ice barrier surrounding a human heart? Maybe. It would be a challenge for Hermione to figure him out... This is not a basis for a relationship. Yeah, you're right. I mean, Hermione is too smart a girl to fall for someone who hates her that much. But we saw in Half-Blood Prince that Draco actually _was_ human and that there were, in fact, a few people he cared about - his family, namely. So it's not so far of a stretch to imagine a grudging friendship forming between Fire & Ice, because Hermione is curious and determined and Draco isn't just a bastard.

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><p><strong>In answer to all those who say the pairing is impossible... Give me a reason and I'll shoot it down. ^^ I'll address the blood issue soon.<br>**

**I actually don't know just how un-story this fic is. It probably -doesn't- correspond to guidelines, but seeing the huge number of song-fics and list-fics out there, I don't think posting this is too risky.  
><strong>


	4. Because They're Both Intelligent

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. *And* Dramione. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

**Reason n°4:** They're both intelligent and clever and Ron isn't. And neither is Astoria (who's that?)

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><p>Draco was not what you could call "hard-working," but he cared about his grades. Or rather, he cared that his father cared about his grades. Lucius Malfoy had been mortified to hear that his son was being beaten in every single subject - even History of Magic, for Merlin's sake! - by a Mudblood. It was disgraceful. What could a Mudblood know about magic, he had asked his son over the Christmas holidays, that the Malfoy heir didn't? Draco hadn't gone red, but a slight pink flush had spread across his cheeks at that. In fact, Granger knew a great deal about magic and it was <em>humiliating<em>. It was driving him crazy.

So Draco had taken to actually studying for tests, which he had never expected to have to do. On his first test in his first year at Hogwarts, he'd got an Exceeds Expectations, and since then, he had always been slightly above average, which was perfectly respectable, even for a Malfoy. He doubted his father had ever been top of his class. His family wouldn't have minded if Draco had been beaten by Theodore Nott (which he was, very frequently) or Pansy Parkinson (which he wasn't, thank Merlin), or even Crabbe or Goyle (though there was little chance of that ever happening). But the fact that the first student in their class was _Hermione Granger_ did not rest well with Lucius Malfoy.

After his first semester at Hogwarts, Draco had started working harder. He now averaged only about zero-point-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-six points less than Hermione and was fighting her for the place of top student in their year. Surprisingly enough, he had realised he liked the challenge. No other girl kept him constantly on his toes like this... Draco had worked so hard, so diligently that he had been awarded the Head Boy position this year as well as the Quidditch Captain. He'd even denied the second badge because it would mean less time for studying. Quidditch was less important than who took over after Ulric the Evil - no, wait, wasn't it Ulric the Oddball?

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><p>How many fics have you read where Draco is very nearly as smart as Hermione? A lot, I'd guess. And apparently he actually admires Hermione for her smarts... And how about where he's Head Boy and she's Head Girl and they share a common room and she is oh-so-surprised that Malfoy made Head Boy? Even more. While I'm getting slightly sick of the second one, the first just makes me raise my eyebrows. Not that Draco <em>isn't<em> smart or anything, but we're talking book smarts here, and I don't think Draco happens to love _Pride and Prejudice_ as much as Hermione, if only because it was written by a Muggle (I... think?). Certainly he's more clever than Crabbe and Goyle, but who isn't? I think he could be above average, grade-wise, easily above Ron and Harry who aren't all that good, but not zero-point-etc points behind Hermione.

I also think Draco _could_ "admire" - begrudgingly - Hermione's intelligence and grades, but he would definitely never admit it, not even to himself. Which would totally make a good fic.

Now, in how many fics is Ron portrayed as a big blubbering idiot lacking even the emotional range of a teaspoon, making Hermione cry or making fun of her because she studies? Just as many. And, well, I can't help but agree. Hermione is the smartest witch of her age - and it's not all book smarts, either; she's shown, being Harry's friend, that she's very resourceful - and Ron just can't keep up. Whereas Draco could, if only because he can come up with sharp remarks that cut to the quick.

As for Astoria... Like I said, who _the hell_...?

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><p><strong>Um, I just saw how many reviews this fic has and compared to how much writing was involved, it means a lot to me. Thank you. ^^ You're all so nice.<strong>

**If you have some good Dramione fics (or even parodies) to recommend, don't hesitate! Or if you're writing one.  
><strong>


	5. Because Hermione Can Save his Soul

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. *And* Dramione. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

**Reason n°5:** Hermione can save Draco's soul

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><p>"I just don't get it," Ron said desolately, watching as Hermione laughed at something Malfoy had just said. "I mean, what does she see in him? She's smart and kind and he – he's the bastard who called her a you-know-what* and who was once turned into a ferret**. I just don't understand it."<p>

"She's trying to redeem him," Ginny said, chewing thoughtfully. "She thinks there's still something worth saving in there."

Ron made a face. "You mean, like a humanitarian mission?"

"Yes! Remember S.P.E.W.?"

"You mean _spew_?" Harry laughed so hard he hacked up the potato he'd just swallowed whole. "Are you comparing _Malfoy_ to a – a – a _house-elf_?"

"It's sort of the same thing, really," Ginny said.

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><p>* This is obviously one of the biggest issues non-fans have about the couple. Will be addressed later.<p>

** This also comes back often in Draco-bashing fics, or even stupid!Hermione's friends-fics where Harry and Ron can't seem to get over the ferret incident.

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><p>So this argument ties back to what I said in Fire and Ice. I believe Hermione would be able to forgive Malfoy even though he was a right bastard. Providing he changed, of course, she could give him a second chance.<p>

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><p><strong>Thanks everyone for the reviews.<strong>


	6. Because She Slapped Him!

**Like I said earlier – this won't be updated regularly. Since they're more-or-less individual drabbles, I thought it wouldn't hurt to post the fic in its incomplete form and just update occasionally. I've had a spurt of inspiration this weekend, but it might not last. **

**Thanks everyone for the reviews.**

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. *And* Dramione. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

**Reason n°6:** She slapped him, which is undoubtedly a sign of true love.

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><p>She slapped him, and he hasn't stopped thinking about it since. Her <em>Mudblood<em> fingers, striking his cheek with a loud _crack_; her eyes flashing and her voice low and furious. He doesn't think anyone has ever slapped him before. He received quite a few uncomfortable jolts from his father's wand when he was a child, but never an actual, physical _slap_. It is just such a _Muggle_ gesture. No one raises a hand on a Malfoy. If you have a grudge to settle with a Malfoy, you do it the wizard way, with an actual wand. He can't get it out of his mind that Granger slapped him. Or that he was too bewildered then – still is, now – to do anything but leave, practically speechless.

Hermione also thinks about it a lot. She thinks about it so much she completely forgets to go to Charms*. She thinks about it whenever she sees his blond head in the corridors, because she knows he'll get revenge on her someday... You don't just _slap_ Malfoy and get away with it.

Except he doesn't, and she does, and the incident is never mentioned again.

But it preys on both their minds constantly.

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><p>-cough- Or not. -cough-<p>

Seriously, us Dramione fans **rock** because we are capable of reading between the lines and seeing things that are **not there**. ^^ Probably slapping someone doesn't often mean you're totally in love with them, but hey, it's one way of interpreting it.

What we know for sure is that Draco can _definitely_ make Hermione lose her cool. Hermione is an excellent witch, she could have just hexed him, but she didn't. She _slapped_ him. She needed to touch him, because she was so angry. When else do we get to see Hermione lose control like that? Draco gets on her nerves so badly. (Well, he gets on _everyone_'s nerves.)

**Also, was anyone else expecting the slap to actually have some sort of effect later on in the book? Because Draco just kinda backed off and never mentioned it again...**

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><p>* It's in the books, people.<p> 


	7. Because They're Both Hot

**This is a total crack chapter and not even a real reason. It's more me poking fun at a huge Dramione cliché... But hey, it was funny. At least, it felt like that while I was writing it.**

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°7:<strong> Because They're Both Oh-So-Hot

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><p>-Rewind- Wait, <em>what<em>?

You heard me. **Hermione is **_**hot**_**.** In fact, most of the time, she must be mind-blowingly hot and somewhat trashy (though sometimes she's hawt, it depends on the author's mental age (usually between ten and fifteen)). This is absolutely necessary if Dramione is to happen, because the author is a (teenaged) female who thinks Draco is _totally hawt_, and obviously bushy-haired, ex-buck-toothed Hermione just doesn't cut it for Sex God Draco. In fact, Hermione's hairstyle and flat chest (?) is of greater importance than her blood status in getting Draco to fall for her (which just goes to show how shallow guys really are).

And so it is that we have these stories – I kid you not, they actually exist and they're not all labelled under "Parody." Please close your eyes if you are easily disgusted by possession!Sues, ie the author taking over a character and turning her into an inflated Barbie doll – these stories, then, that begin in sixth/alternate seventh/post-war seventh year and manage to insert somewhere in the first three paragraphs something quite like this*:

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><p><strong>!\ Warning! You can never unread this. Proceed at your own risk. /!\**

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><p>Over the summer  during the war (WTH?), Hermione had grown out of her awkwardness (_what_ awkwardness?) and had bloomed (like a wallflower?) into a beautiful young woman. Her previously bushy hair had grown out a miraculous four inches in the space of two months and now fell in soft, cascading**, golden-brown ringlets down her back. She seemed to ignore Hogwarts uniform (in fact, strangely enough, that year, no one would respect the school dress code), instead wearing tight, low-ride jeans that showed off her navel, which was pierced, and an even tighter t-shirt with a low neckline. Her breasts had grown over the summer into a C-cup and now _strained_ against the fabric of the t-shirt (these authors must be pre-teens, because girls who already have breasts would not write something like this unless they wanted to describe a freegirl). Her amber eyes looked up coyly from beneath long, golden eyelashes. Everyone and their dog stopped talking when she set foot on Platform Nine and ¾, and Ron's eyes popped out of their sockets (probably because her breasts were _straining_ to be released. Ew).

Alternately, Hermione may have gone to vist a long-lost cousin in America (because _everyone_ has to have a cousin in America. I mean, I do, too. Maybe it's the same one?) who was horrified at having such an unclassy relative and did a total makeover on our favourite female character, effectively turning her into the worst Sue the Harry Potter fandom has ever known (Ebony/Enoby not included). She might even have permanently straightened her hair, to the reader's eternal horror.

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><p>* Except without the parentheses, because I have a thing for overusing parentheses. You noticed, right? Also without the warning, because the author doesn't think that a hawt!Hermione is an eyesore. Unfortunately this means that an increasing number of Dramione fans have been scarred for life by these stories.<p>

** This word must be used at least once throughout the fic to describe Hermione's hair. Or Ginny's. Or some other random slut's.

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><p>Now, let's get something straight here... Probably Hermione isn't ugly. Hell, she was <em>beautiful<em> at the Yule Ball, so yes, she's obviously pretty to some degree. But a) people don't just morph into a Barbie doll over the space of two months (oh my god, I just imagined my friends undergoing this kind of transformation over the summer!) and b) what _is_ it with frizzy hair and not-C cup breasts that doesn't fit the requirements of beauty? Oh, and c) five paragraphs describing one person's hair is too long, sorry.

Hermione is pretty (Emma Watson is beautiful, though), but I don't know anyone pretty enough to make _everyone_ stare when she walks by in the corridors. Personally that kind of attention would creep me out.

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><p><strong>Let's move on to Draco.<strong> He, too, is unbelievably H-A-W-T. Only in his case, he has been hot since first year (never mind that he was eleven years old) and Hermione has either a) only just noticed or b) been crushing on him all this time. Draco has silvery-blond hair (so far so good) which is smooth (well... maybe), not always slicked back or if so, definitely not with gel because gel is ew (heck, they're right), grey eyes which are sometimes blue (oh gods, please no), and washboard abs. Yes, people, washboard abs, though I can't see Draco working out (ha!) or doing any sort of manual labour at all. The author actually gives this some thought, but she will usually pass his washboard abs and muscled arms off as the result of Quidditch-playing and go on with the story, leaving the reader to titter quietly over how physically demanding Seeking _really_ is.

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><p>So you see? They're both hot. <strong>They obviously deserve each other.<strong>

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><p>-Parody mode off, argument mode on.-<p>

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><p>… or not.<p>

There isn't really an argument for this chapter. For lots of people, apparently, for Draco and Hermione to be together they must both be stunningly, dazzlingly, unebelievably hawt. And that's the sad truth. Ronmione fans actually have one over us here, much as I hate to admit it, because there are actually fewer of their fics turning Ron and/or Hermione into a Ken/Barbie. Maybe it's because they're less adventurous and stick closer to canon (kidding! Don't hit me, Ronmione shippers, even though I hate the pairing. Ow! I _said_, don't hit me!).  
>Canon, in this case, really is the way to go.<p>

-shudder-

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><p><strong>I am a teenaged female, too, so don't hit me for poking fun at y'all out there. ^^<strong>

**PS: I ****_tried_**** running this through spell-check, honest to God I really did, but it kept bugging me because apparently "hawt" isn't a word (really?). I stopped trying when it tried to get me to correct "Dramione" (*shockhorrorgasp*). So if there are typos, yeah, don't hesitate to point them out!**


	8. Because It Doesn't Work

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°8:<strong> Because with canon Draco it wouldn't work (give over, Draco fans, you know it's true!) and it's so very fun to think of ways to have them both change just enough to make it possible for them to be together without massacreing their personalities.

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><p>Fun and difficult and it usually (all right, all right, <em>occasionally<em>) gives something really good to read. Something different, unusual, and original. I mean, Head Boy/Head Girl plot and horrible Hermione Sues aside, there are just so many _possibilities_ with this couple, if only because it's _im_possible (because it is, really). If it _were_ possible, it could work; _they_ could work. But as things stand in canon, it is _not possible_.

And this is where the butt-kicking awesome Dramione writers come in: _they make it possible_. This involves (un)believable and highly awkward situations in which Draco and Hermione must learn to know each other. Sometimes they have just "grown up," whether after years apart or because of the war (the war is convenient like that), and they're more mature / just too sick and tired of all the fighting to still fight. Sometimes they still hate each other but make an effort not to lash out all the time and this leads to civil conversations, and they realise they have some things in common. Sometimes there are major arguments and lots of angsty moments (those are the best). But in any case, you can be sure you're in for a hell of a ride with a good Dramione, because these stories are filled with twists and turns you'd never expect.

Because no one ever really _expected_ Draco and Hermione to happen.

We just _hoped-wished-prayedtoMerlin_ for it.


	9. Because of House Rivalry

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°9:<strong> Because of Slytherin and Gryffindor.

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><p>Come on! It's so... appealing.<p>

Slytherin is _supposed_ to be a house for the cunning and ambitious, not just the Death Eaters. I was always kind of disappointed that we are only ever introduced to hateful Slytherins. Draco is not exactly the most likeable character in the series (though he _is_ loveable), Blaise Zabini is blood prejudiced, Pansy Parkinson is pug-faced _and_ Hermione hates her, um, we don't really known anything about Theodore Nott, Crabbe and Goyle are _really stupid_, and in general the Slytherins are either not mentioned or hateable. Even Slughorn, who was certainly not _cruel_ or anything, was a complete pain.

So Slytherin has this dark reputation, and Gryffindor is good and gold and everything noble. It's a bit like the Fire and Ice, Romeo and Juliet thing, isn't it? Hermione and Draco are polar opposites in oh-so-many ways, blood status being the first that comes to mind, then houses, and then everything else. But Dramione writers love a challenge, and these huge differences to overcome are only additional enticement to these lovely people who aren't scared of anything. As for Dramione readers, they stand in awe of the writers' talent at manipulating characters so that they remain believable and yet have their feelings change.

You know all those fics where the professors go crazy and decide to "promote inter-house unity" during/after the war by doing things like make people change houses?

I just can't help thinking that a Slytherin/Gryffindor wedding (not necessarily Draco and Hermione's, though that would have been _perfect_) would have been a symbolic ending to the series.


	10. Because of Ship Names

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°10:<strong> Because DHr just looks cooler than Rhr, and Dramione flows better than Romione.

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><p>Face it, people. We've simply got the better ship name (did someone say Harmony? Sorry, can't hear you). Romione is just... no.<p>

We've also got the sexier guy – but don't hit me!

(And don't throw rotten tomatoes, either.)

(Thanks.)


	11. Because Draco Is Rich I

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°11:<strong> Because Draco is rich (I)

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><p><em>"<em>Really_, Draco," she whispered, feeling horribly self-conscious after the goblin gave another small half-bow before turning to open the heavily charmed door, "it wasn't absolutely necessary to stop by your vault before going to buy new robes... I'm not _that_ expensive."_

_"You're worth it," he said, giving her a small smile. "And besides, I've been dying for an opportunity to flaunt my wealth."_

_She laughed, knowing he was joking. "I'm not easily impressed, Draco. Don't forget I once saw your aunt's vault... Holy _shit_, is all this _yours_?"_

_He hadn't been joking after all._

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><p>Money isn't everything, I know, I know. But it certainly counts for something. What could Draco bring Hermione that Ron can't, apart from amazing, mind-blowing se – I mean, <em>conversation<em>? The answer is money. The Weasleys are poor and that's a fact. (Fred and) George's shop might be a real money-maker, and being an Auror might pay pretty good, but let's face it: that could never compare to the Malfoys' obvious wealth. Lucius Malfoy paid Nimbus 2001s for the _entire_ Slytherin team and was generous enough with the Ministry to curry favour. There's definitely a lot of money in their vault... plus all the Lestrange gold would probably go to them when Bellatrix died and Rodolphus and Rabastan were imprisoned. Wow. Now that's a lot of gold.

Hermione could do _tons_ of stuff with that kind of money. I don't mean bitchy rich pureblood stuff like buying new dresses and throwing balls, I mean useful stuff or humanitarian stuff. Money isn't everything, but it sure helps a lot when you have ambition, and Hermione has plenty enough of that. Her influence, his money, their brains... They could go so far.


	12. Because Draco Is Rich II

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°12:<strong> Because Draco is rich (II)

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><p><em>"It's all mine," he said, looking around at the piles of gold with a touch of pride in his tone. "And yours, now."<em>

Is there anything sexier than a guy who was raised with aristocratic manners and who invites you out to expensive candlelit dinners?

I have read Dramiones where Draco is the king of romantics because his money _allows_ him to be. He knows secret restaurants no one has ever heard of and goes all out for his proposal (and the ring. Don't forget the ring). I know girls actually do like a plain, heartfelt proposal, but I don't know anyone who would say no to an old-fasioned, fancy restaurant, down-on-knee, expensive-ring-passed-on-through-generations proposal.


	13. Because It's True Love

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°13:<strong> Because if it happened, you would know it was true love. What else could it be?

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><p><em>Draco swallowed nervously, eyeing the door to the Burrow with obvious apprehension. "I don't really think –"<em>

_"We'll have to do it someday," Hermione said._

_He nodded, took her hand, and together they entered the house. It took about five seconds for the people inside to register who had just entered, and then all hell broke loose._

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><p>Because really, there's nothing else in it for either of them. Absolutely nothing but love. Hermione's life would definitely be easier if she married Ron: the Weasleys would be happy, Ron would be happy, and everyone would support the marriage. Sure, Draco has money, but Hermione wouldn't marry him just for the money. It's a very un-Hermione thing to do.<br>As for Draco, well, it involves getting over his prejudice and marrying a Muggleborn who isn't even filthy rich. Sure, she'd hold a certain influence over the Ministry and could maybe restore the Malfoy name to some semblance of respectability, but Draco would have to face the Weasleys and have you even seen how _many_ there are of them?

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><p><strong>Thank you for the reviews. I read them all and I answer them (or try to; I don't think I've missed any yet) and I love them and I wouldn't say no to more.<br>**


	14. Because Blood Prejudice Is Outdated

**This is not a funny chapter, but it's obviously an essential one and I've been meaning to write it... So here you go. What I have to say about the major argument against our favourite pairing.**

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°14:<strong> Because blood prejudice is outdated.

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><p>The major argument <em>against<em> Dramione is obviously blood status. "Mudblood" is a hugely offensive term and Draco is the first one to use it during the series – against _Hermione,_ no less. How are you supposed to get past that? How could love bloom (*cough* excuse the cheesiness) despite this prejudice? Easy, Dramione fans say. And they're right, for the following reasons (list not exhaustive):

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><p><span>1 – Canon does it for us<span>

In canon, Dramione-haters will say, Draco is possibly the most stuck-up, cowardly and despicable character ever, second only to Wormtail. He needs bodyguards (Crabbe and Goyle), needs to be around idiots to feel important (Crabbe and Goyle), doesn't know what true friendship is (Crabbe and Goyle, and Pansy), lies and play-acts (the Buckbeak incident, and Pansy), and he can't even cast a proper Killing Curse. He acts all important because he's on the Dark Lord's side and isn't even capable of carrying out his decisions. On top of all that, he's blood prejudiced. So canon Draco should be pretty low on the desirable scale, shouldn't he?

Well, he isn't. I mean, not _that_ low. Certainly not as high as fanon Draco (yum), but still. Because despite everything I just said, Draco isn't quite as hateable as Voldemort or even Wormtail (who is actually more hated by fans than Voldemort). He isn't capable of murder. This is a weakness for him, but it's most importantly a sign of his humanity. Draco knows fear, he probably knows love (his family?), and above all, he's _human_. And in this fandom, anything even vaguely human is dateable.

Okay, okay! I promise I'll stop trying to make jokes.

He called Hermione a Mudblood, that's true. Not many fics even _try_ to deny that, though some just skirt over the fact rather smoothly. But you have to admit it was a long time ago, and canon shows Hermione as someone with a lot of love and compassion and a huge capacity for forgiveness. Remember her reaction when Kreacher called her a Mudblood? (I realise this is the second time I compare Draco to a house-elf in this fic. I should probably stop.) It's kind of the same thing with Draco. (I'll stop now.) He believes his blood is superior, but only because he's been taught to think like that ever since he was little, like Kreacher. (Or now.) If Kreacher is forgivable, so is Draco. (All right, so I won't stop. So sue me.)

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><p>2 – Blood prejudice <em>must<em> know an end

_"What made you change your mind, Draco?" she murmured, her lips brushing against the top of his head. "I've always wondered."_

_He took her wrists in his hands and pushed her away slightly, so he was looking her in the eye. "It was inevitable, really..."_

* * *

><p>Because I say so.<p>

Nineteen years later, "All is well" and the biggest racist of all wizarding time is gone for good. The Death Eaters are all either dead or imprisoned, except for one or two (Lucius and _probably_ Draco, though we were never explicitly told he had the Mark; we know Narcissa didn't), and peace has been restored to the wizarding world. Happily ever after. I've already mentioned this once or twice (or three thousand times), but can you think of a better way to signal that bad blood is behind them than a Dramione romance? (There are also some good Harry/Pansy fics out there, actually.)

After what happened, the Malfoys couldn't go on being openly prejudiced. Not that anyone would listen to them anyway. Maybe Lucius would be too far gone, but I can really see Narcissa reaching out to the only sister she has left, Andromeda, and growing to care for Teddy, her half-breed (Remus was a werewolf) and half-blood grand-nephew whom Andromeda looks after. After Hermione's torture at Malfoy Manor (do you remember Draco refused to identifty them? He didn't want them to die, even though Hermione was Muggleborn), I don't think Draco could consider her as anything less than human. _Muggleborns scream just as loud as anyone else_, and I believe Draco knows that, somewhere deep inside. That being said, it becomes strangely not unthinkable to imagine he and Hermione having to talk to each other once after the war and finding, if not a romance, then at least some sort of mutual understanding and closure. From then on, anything can happen.

* * *

><p><span>3 – Flat characters are boring<span>

_"Oh... Malfoy," she said, surprised. _

_He hadn't changed much, except for a few lines on his face and maybe a slightly higher forehead._

_"It's been... a long time."_

_Disgust flashed in his grey eyes as he straightened up and looked at her. "It has, hasn't it," he said slowly, disdain dripping from his voice. "Fancy bumping into the Mudblood know-it-all after all these years."_

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><p>I'm not saying that there is no other way to flesh out Draco than by having him engage in a romantic relationship with Hermione, though it certainly is <em>the best<em> way. I mean, there's also Drarry and Draco/Ginny and some other pairings (I'm just _kidding_, people). But (un)surprisingly, many people who are against Dramione fall into one of three categories:

a) the fangirls who say that Hermione isn't good enough for Draco (WTH?),

b) the more reasonable people who believe that canon Draco is a stuck-up, arrogant, prejudiced bastard who would never even _look_ at Hermione and who isn't good enough for her anyway, so why bother?

To which I say: in what way is _Ron_ good enough for Hermione? *ducks flying tomatoes* All right, all right, don't get your knickers in a knot. It was a joke. I don't much like Ron, but this isn't really an anti-Ronmione fic, and as much as I would _love_ to rip Ron to shreds, I have more respect for his fans than that... and Rupert Grint was awesome in the films, by the way. So let's take a different stand... What kind of flat, one-dimensional villain do you _take_ Draco for? Rowling doesn't have a single one-dimensional character in the entire series, with the possible exception of Vernon Dursley who makes up for it by his physical dimension. Rowling is much too good a writer for that. Draco appears several times throughout the books and he is _not_ flat. Like I said before, she has shown us that he is human.

It would be boring to have him, nineteen years later, still as prejudiced as ever. It would be interesting to see him change his ways and realise how human and worthy Hermione herself is.

* * *

><p><span>4 – Impossible is fun<span>

_"Hey, Draco?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Do you think that... if we tried... this could work?"_

_"No. But let's try anyway."_

* * *

><p>Should I have failed to convince you that Draco could change enough to make him date material, keep this invented-on-the-spot Dramione motto in mind: there is nothing sweeter than impossible love. Anyone will tell you that. Ole' Shakespeare would totally approve. So let us have fun with these characters. <em>We<em> believe they can work.

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><p><strong>And that's it... So very not funny, but important so I hope you'll forgive me! :)<br>**


	15. Because of the Power of Love

**Exams over, I have the results, and I've been writing a lot lately. I now present to you a brand-new chapter! It's been _ages_ since I last updated, I know. But I never promised anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Reason n°15:<strong> Because every girl out there wants to believe she can change/save a guy through the power of love.

* * *

><p>It was like an apparition.<p>

No, scratch that. It was a goddamn _hallucination_. Or a nightmare. Because there was no way in hell that Hermione Granger was _really_ trying to have a conversation with him. In the library of all places*.

"… and what were you reading? _History of Dark Wizards and Witches_, really? That's interesting... I don't think I've read that one before. Is it interesting?"

"Quite," Draco said, his tone clipped. "Lots of information about really talented wizards setting out to destroy Muggle-borns. It's pretty entertaining, really."

Granger didn't even flinch. "You know, most dark wizards didn't really care about Muggles at all. Just because Voldem –"

Draco was the one who winced at that. "Be _quiet_," he hissed before he could stop himself.

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself, Malfoy. It's not like he can hear you." She cocked her head at him. "You're afraid of him, aren't you?"

"I have fewer reasons to be afraid than _you_ do."

"Do you really think that?"

"Why are we even having this conversation?"

He tried to look back down at the book, willing the Gryffindor to vanish into thin air. He could hex her, but the Professors were her biggest fans and would come down on him hard if they guessed it was him. Besides, he didn't _really_ make a habit of hexing people. Potter was something of an exception, and Granger, despite her best intentions, couldn't manage to bring him to the level of anger that Potter allowed him to reach. She was more like an annoying gnat that you were better off ignoring.

"_Because_," Granger said, missing the huge obvious hint that she should _go away_, "you're obviously in trouble."

His head shot up and he stared at her, incredulous. "_Excuse_ me?"

"Harry's picked up on it," she said. "You've been acting weird all year. You look tired and stressed-out. There's obviously something wrong."

Was she serious?

"Oh, and because," she added, "I saw you yesterday in Myrtle's bathroom."

He felt himself go white. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"There's no need to lie, Malfoy. I was there. I saw."

"_Listen_, Granger, I don't –"

"It's okay," she said. "I don't expect you to tell _me_ anything. Though why you think talking to the _ghost_ of a Muggle-born is more acceptable than talking to an actual, living one is beyond me. But I just wanted you to know... if there's anything I can do to help, just ask me. Please."

"To help," he repeated, the words tasting sour in his mouth.

"I can help you," she insisted. "If you'll only just let me. I can make it all end – I can show you something else. Another way. You don't have to obey _him_."

Draco blinked. "Granger, you are _completely_ off your rocker."

* * *

><p>Oh, come on. Wasn't that the most romantic thing <strong>ever<strong>?

More seriously though, it's true. Girls like to think they can _change_ guys. And Draco definitely has some changing to do (also known as redemption). We readers eat that stuff up. It's amazing to see someone evolve from something mostly undesirable to Prince Charming. Fics that _change_ Draco are **the best**. And there's quite a lot of them out there, because change in at least one of the characters is essential for the relationship to work.

Naturally, the change can happen through other events. But when you think about it, the _power of love_ is a strong theme in the Harry Potter books. It saves lives, does complicated stuff no one expected, and defeats Voldemort once. Draco doesn't stand a chance.

So there's your fifteenth reason to ship Dramione, people: the_ power of love_.

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><p>*It's always the library. Or somewhere else with books. Books are undeniably sexy (I wonder if they have erotica literature at Hogwarts).<p> 


	16. Because the Sex Is Good

**Reason n°16: Because the sex is good.**

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><p>Don't look at me like that. I know you think the same thing... Dramione sex is <em>good<em>. There are some very original -cough- ideas out there, but generally they go something like this:

* * *

><p>Draco and Hermione, being Head Boy and Girl, shared a common room. (Why would Draco be named Head Boy? Yeah, I don't know either. Doesn't matter. I mean, Ron was a prefect.) They drove each other mad. Naturally, after a very heated, very <em>passionate<em> argument (Dramione have the best arguments), they ended up snogging. And it's hot. And it gets hotter. And hotter. Until... -insert fade-to-black here-

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><p>Sometimes it will be a little different.<p>

* * *

><p>Draco and Hermione were drunk. Completely pissed, actually. Because they needed that to actually sleep together, since she was a Muggle-born and he was a ferret. They had mad hot sex, and then one of them conveniently forgot about it (really). Or, she got pregnant (really. Like the brightest witch of her age could get drunk enough to forget the Contraception Charm. I have to see that). The sex is described in excruciatingly painful detail which makes you wonder how someone who's that drunk can really do anything except fumble around. But this just goes to illustrate the argument: even <em>drunken<em> sex is good if it's Dramione.

* * *

><p>I <em>was<em> tempted to write something a little _heavier_ to illustrate this argument, but, er... -cough- -cough- This is meant to be rated T. Let's just say that sex where Draco is one of the participants always results in a lot of moaning, gasping, writhing, shrieking, and bucking hips. Also, very talented fingers. Always.

Now when it's Draco _and_ Hermione there's also a lot of nail scratching, teeth sinking into skin, tongues battling for dominance (ew. Just, _ew_), messy hair, sexy green lingerie, hot little minxes inside bookworms, and general all-around passion and lust, sometimes anger and hatred. And that's good. Real good.

Just ask Hermione.


	17. Because of Harry and Ron's Reactions

**Reason n°17: **Because Harry and Ron angry? So good.

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><p>Draco has to stand up to his family. (Sort of. I mean, at least a little.) Hermione? She gets to deal with her two best friends, Harry and Ron. Who are males. And hate Draco.<p>

Fun.

For us, I mean. Hermione probably disagrees (and we all know Hermione is always right). But no one asked for her opinion.

* * *

><p>"What the <em>hell<em> was that?" Ron spluttered, spraying a mouthful of pumpkin juice on the table. "You don't – it doesn't – you can't – no way!" (Note how Ron loses the ability to formulate correct sentences. Dramione fans often only like Ron if he's a complete idiot or a bastard.)

"I can't _what_?"

"You're not really going out with him, are you?"

"What if I am?"

"But you can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because he's – he's – he's – you just can't!" (See previous note.)

Harry looked uneasily between his two best friends. "Hermione, I don't really know if it's such a good idea. I mean, it is _Malfoy_ we're talking about. Remember in second year –"

"He hasn't Obliviated me, Harry. I remember everything."

"How do you know?" Ron asked, suddenly regaining the ability to speak. "How do you know you're not under a spell, or the effect of some love potion?"

Hermione stared flatly at him. Hello, brightest witch of her age here?

"Ah, right," Ron muttered. "But Malfoy's a dark wizard! You don't really know what kind of curses he knows..."

"He's sixteen, Ron. At sixteen Harry's favorite spell is still _Expelliarmus_. I think I'll be okay."

"Malfoy isn't Harry, though. He's a _Malfoy;_ my dad has told me all about the kind of things Lucius Malfoy has in his house. His father is a _Death Eater_."

"_This_ is why I didn't want to tell you!" Hermione cried. "Why do you _think_ you only found out now even though it's been going on for three months? I _knew_ you'd be like this! But it doesn't matter, all right? You can say whatever you want, I'm _in love_ with him."

Her friends stared at her for a few heartbeats, and she felt herself blush beetroot red.

"We're concerned about you, Hermione," Harry began.

At the same time, Ron spluttered again: "What do you mean it's been going on for _three months_?"

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><p>As you can see, this is the most convenient moment to make Ron the ultimate bastard. Harry is usually "I don't like it, but if it makes you happy" accepting, but sometimes he decides he likes Ron more than Hermione and goes ultimate bastard as well. Either way, you're unlikely to see either of them ever again because the author will conveniently get rid of them somehow (Ron may even die if the author hates him enough) to focus on the romantic ups and downs of Draco and Hermione's relationship, which hardly ever concern Ron and Harry. In fact they're more likely to involve Blaise Zabini or Pansy Parkinson than Ron and Harry, because the author likes Slytherins (except Crabbe and Goyle, because those guys have nothing to do in a romance fanfiction).<p> 


	18. Because Confusion Is Fun

**Reason n°18: Because clarity isn't fun, but confusion is.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Our favorite couple is complicated. Of course, that's part of the reason we love them. They hardly ever get together the easy way: a few casual dates leading to something more serious. Nope. Often, they are friends, or even just trying to tolerate each other, and they're not about to work their way up slowly. No way! Instead they somehow end up kissing, because the sexual tension between them is just <em>too much<em> to bear. They may even end up sleeping together. Which then leads to complicated situations in which one (or both) is (or are) confused about his/her/their feelings. Which can lead to **the most romantic declarations ever**. There are so many fics out there in which Draco or Hermione confess because they're angry, or desperate, or confused, or because the other one is angry, or desperate, or confused - not because it's the right timing. Nope, never that. This always leads to Hermione or Draco (whoever didn't confess - and sometimes, the one who confessed, too) being stunned. And confused. And angry, sometimes. Yeah, simple relationships just aren't fun, people.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco's initiative example:<strong>

"You kissed me."

"You kissed back," Draco pointed out. "But yeah, I did. And I would do it again in a heartbeat."

She stared at him. "You would? But why?"

Draco sighed. "It's fairly simple, really. Let's look at this objectively. As much as I hate to admit it, I've actually _noticed_ that you're the smartest witch in our class and, as hard as it may be for you to accept, I actually like having someone who challenges me at every turn. That said, it goes both ways, since I'm sure there are very few people apart from me who understand every single thing you say. The fact that I'm not a complete idiot _must_ count for something with someone like you."

"I suppose it does."

"_And_ you're most certainly the only Muggle-born I've ever respected, which actually means a lot, considering how I used to feel about your kind. I respect you _and_ enjoy your company. You've accomplished quite a feat there, and even I can see it."

"Thank you, I suppose?"

"You're not buying this, are you?"

"It just doesn't sound like a very good reason to kiss someone."

"To put it _simply_, Granger, so that you can understand: I don't think I'm likely to ever meet another person as amazing, understanding, kind, intelligent and beautiful as you are, and to me, that sounds like a damn good reason to kiss you again. And again." He smirked. "And many more times."

"Beautiful," Hermione repeated, as though she had stopped listening at that word.

He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, Granger. I'm _not_ saying I'm in love with you, because I'm not. I'm not even saying I have a crush on you. To be perfectly honest, I don't believe we could _ever_ have a normal relationship where everything is all right, there are no surprises, and we end up married with a dozen kids. We're more likely to have the kind of relationship where we fight and argue all the time and end up hating each other. But before that we could have a bloody good time together if you weren't so adamant on us being just 'friends.' Say the word, Granger, and we'll give this a go."

"And if I don't say it?"

"Then I'll try anyway, but it's way more likely to end in tears."

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><p>Don't lie. That was the most romantic thing you've <em>ever<em> read. I'm wanting to spin off an entire fic around it.

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><p><strong>Hermione's initiative example:<br>**

She crashed her lips down onto his in a hard, demanding, _needy_ kiss. She felt the spark, the heated coil in her stomach, the icy coldness of his lips against hers. Felt, too, how unresponsive he was, how his mouth was unmoving against hers. How he pushed her away, hard, after only a few seconds. She stumbled back, stunned as much by her own actions as by his, and looked up at him. His eyes were blown wide with - something. Shock, fear, disgust? **  
><strong>

"What the -" Draco said, then interrupted himself and raised a hand to touch his lips with two fingers, as though he could believe what had just happened. "Granger, what the hell?"

She wanted to look away, wanted to run, but her legs wouldn't obey her. "I..."

"What _was_ that?" he asked. "Why? I mean, what possessed you to think..." His voice trailed off. "Why?" he said again.

Something snapped inside Hermione. She suddenly regained the use of her legs and tried to bolt from the room. But Draco was faster; his arm shot out and he caught her wrist, pulling her back to face him. His grip was strong as iron, and she didn't even try to fight it. She found herself looking into his eyes again, eyes that were cold and unforgiving, the surprise having faded and leaving a faint veil of puzzlement.

"Why?" he repeated. "Just tell me why."

"I don't have to tell you anything," she said, trying to keep her voice level. When he arched an eyebrow at her, she said, "I don't know, all right? I don't know what came over me. I've been wanting to do that for weeks, but I didn't think -" She stopped herself, but it was too late.

Both his eyebrows shot up. "You've _what_?"

_Oh, bloody hell.  
><em>"I've nothing," she said, and tried to pull away. Failed.

"You're a terrible liar, Granger. And you still haven't answered my question. Why? Why would you want to... do that?"

"Kiss you, you mean."

"Yeah," he said, but he didn't meet her gaze when he said it.

She felt a flare of anger replace her embarrassment. Did he really hate her that much? Was the idea of being kissed by a Muggle-born really so awful to him?

"I thought you were over your prejudice, you know," she said hotly. "Obviously I was mistaken. You know what, Malfoy? That's a very good question. How could I ever want to kiss someone who judges people based on their blood? How could I ever have thought I could fall in love with someone who hates everything I represent? I can't answer your question. I don't know the answer to it. But I do know this: I was _stupid_ and blind, and _you_ are a bastard. Now let me go," she said, with a sharp jerk of her wrist.

To her surprise, he did let go, and watched her back away with a stunned expression on his face.

"What?" she said, turning to leave. "Does the truth hurt, Malfoy?"

He shook his head. "You're bloody mental, you know that, Hermione?"

The use of her first name made her stop with her hand on the door. "What?"

"You kissed me," he said, and for the first time he sounded amused.

She turned to look at him; he was smiling.

"You kissed me," he said again, "and I asked you why, and all you can think of is to lie about it, try to run, and then insult me? I've been waiting for _weeks_, and when I finally get you to say that you love me, you manage to do it through a whole block of insults. Mental, I tell you. Why can't you just be normal?"

Her mind was spinning. "I don't understand."

"Yes, you do."

* * *

><p>See what I mean? No confusion no fun.<p> 


	19. Because Draco Has to Stand Up to Daddy

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

**Note:**** I actually haven't forgotten this. This is the "stress mess" I turn to every time I hit a block on whatever I'm writing at the moment. It feels a little strange, because what I'm working on right now is a Drarry – and I suddenly got an ache for Dramione.**

**I love this "fic," and I love you for reading it. I'm sorry I don't update more often, but I never said I would.**

**I've gone back over the entire fic to get myself in the mood again and fixed some typo's. Oh, the humiliation. I should have proof-read ****_before_**** posting.  
>I haven't answered reviews lately, but I've just read through all of them again, starting with chapter 1. Thanks so much. You're all so kind and funny.<strong>

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

* * *

><p><strong>Reason n°19: <strong>Because standing up to your father? _So_ sexy.

* * *

><p>He was fidgeting nervously. <em>Fidgeting<em>.

Hermione gave him a small, uncertain smile and laid a reassuring hand on his arm. "It'll be all right, Draco. Everything will be fine."

He took a deep breath, looked straight into her warm brown eyes for a split second, and Apparated them both away. Hermione flinched at the sight of the gate to Malfoy Manor, and Draco caught it. He traced her cheek lightly with one hand.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, wishing he could erase the memories she held of this place.

"It wasn't your fault," he said firmly.

"I don't know how you can face coming back here after what happened."

It had to be a Gryffindor thing.

He led her through the gate, keeping a watchful eye on her. Her face was pale and her lips tightly pressed together, but her eyes shone with determination. When they reached the big double doors leading inside, he turned to her.

"Are you really sure –"

"Gods above, Draco, for the last time, _yes_. I'm sure. I'll have to meet them someday, won't I?"

He nodded tightly. Salazar, it felt like this was more difficult for him than it was for her. He reached out to push the doors open and led her inside.

His parents were in the second drawing room – the main drawing room was where Hermione had been tortured, and Draco had enough sense not to bring her there again –, waiting for them. When they heard them come in, they both looked up. Mild surprise crossed Narcissa's expression, but in Lucius' there was only cold disdain.

"I ought to have known something was up when you refused to tell me her name," he said, standing up. "A Mudblood, Draco? I thought I'd taught you better."

"Don't call her that," Draco said tersely.

"So the Malfoy line ends like this?" Lucius spat out. "Do you really think I will let you pollute our bloodlines with the likes of _that_?"

"You don't have a say," Draco retorted. "I only brought her here out of tradition – she wanted to meet you properly. I'm going to marry her."

"Properly!" Lucius repeated. "Tradition! You have no sense of tradition and propriety, Draco. If you even thought for an instant that your mother and I would accept..."

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><p>And then Lucius went nuts and started casting Unforgivables at his own son, never mind the fact that, you know, it's his <em>son<em>.

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><p>People... Do I really have to spell this out for you? Lucius, Death Eater though he may be, prejudiced though he may be, loves his son. Lucius killed people, yeah, but I don't believe he's <em>quite<em> sick enough to torture his own son. Whom he loves. Are you starting to get the point?

There are _so many_ Dramione and Drarry fictions where Draco is tortured by his own father, which makes him rather heroic. Or maybe he's disowned or threatened or whatnot, which makes him a martyr, treated unfairly, cast out by his own family, with no one to turn to, and no money, no possessions... (You can just feel the house-elf comparison coming, can't you?) And it's cute/angsty/hot, depending on the author's preference. He's giving everything up for the love of his life, making a stand, being brave. Wait a minute... Is this still Draco we're talking about?

Alternatively, maybe he's been miserable his entire life, his father used to hit him and cast the Cruciatus Curse on him every summer, and Hermione starts to love him out of pity. Except I don't see Draco reacting too nicely to pity, but whatever. **It's love.**

Then there be other fics in which Draco takes _such_ a dramatic stand that it becomes _really_ romantic and Hermione falls for him a little more, and through the _power of love_ Narcissa and Lucius realise she is a fully capable witch who will make their son happy and wish their son and his fiancée all the best. Urgh.

It would seem that the best Dramione simply never mention his parents... at all.

But still. Defying authority is pretty sexy.


	20. Because Draco's Friends Are Hot

_Disclaimer:_ It's all Rowling's.

_The-don't-hit-me Disclaimer:_ I love Harry Potter and everything about it. I also love Harry Potter fanfiction. I'm not criticising anything here, nor do I think I'm funny. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

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><p><strong>50 Reasons to Ship DracoHermione**

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><p><strong>Reason n°20:<strong> Because Draco has the hottest friends.

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><p>In Dramione, Harry and Ron are there to either provide comic relief, or deep insight, or an obstacle (because they're bastards). They're rarely, if ever, used for anything else, because the author thinks their hotness level is too low for them to feature in a Dramione. So who does the author turn to? <em>Slytherin<em>. Crabbe and Goyle are so unattractive and stupid that it only makes sense that every other Slytherin under the moon must be hot and intelligent to make up for them. Except maybe Flint and Montague.

You know, I'm _seriously_ wondering where Crabbe and Goyle have vanished off to. I mean, I know Crabbe is dead, but not until the end of DH. Yet I don't think I've ever read a Hogwarts-years Dramione in which Crabbe and Goyle were present, not even as Draco's bodyguards.

But enough of that. Point is, Draco actually has friends, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. And his friends are quite clever, which makes one wonder what they're doing hanging around with him, and always _hot_. Pansy is either a complete bitch as well as a whore who throws herself at Draco, or a clever, steadfast, independent yet loyal friend who's is _hot_ and does not have a pug nose. Nope. You must have read wrong. Theodore Nott is simple because we're hardly given any information about him - so obviously he's hot and Harry just didn't notice. Daphne Greengrass (you know, Astoria's sister. Yeah, the sister of the girl who never existed until she married Draco) is also amazingly beautiful, stunning, whatever - but the author tends not to linger too much on the ladies.

Then there's Blaise. Oh, dear gods. He's Italian, he's dark and handsome, he's sexy and dangerous, he's predator-like... He's completely swoon-worthy and on top of that, either he's a great friend to Draco, or he's a conniving little sneaky bastard. Both of which only increase his hotness factor. And yeah, he's totally blood-prejudiced, but you know, he's _hot_.

Draco had better watch out. Blaise/Hermione (what's that called, anyway? **Hermayonnaise**?) is always an option.

Hot, clever friends do not a good romance story make, but they help. They add tension, and people who can give advice while looking good, and a completely new set of friends for Hermione who is unlikely to ever speak to Harry, Ron or Ginny ever again, for obvious reasons. (They're not hot enough, I told you already.)


	21. Because the Malfoys Are the Best In-Laws

Haven't updated in ages, I know. But I knew I would never be consistent with this fic. It will be completed one day, I promise. I like it too much.

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><p><strong><span>Reason n°21:<span> Because the Malfoys and Weasleys Would Get Along _So_ Well**

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><p>Mrs Weasley checked the time again. "They're late," she said fretfully. "Draco dear, are you sure –"<p>

"I'm sure," Draco said, his lip curling a little at the word _dear_. "Trust me, Mrs Weasley, they wouldn't miss this for the world."

Mrs Weasley gave him a grateful smile. Draco was lounging on a kitchen chair in the Burrow, eyeing the cookies she had just finished baking. He'd rather think about the cookies than anything else at the moment. The kitchen – indeed, the entire house – was perfectly spotless, but it was still, well, the Burrow. He reached out – and Hermione swatted his hand away.

"Behave," she snapped. "What if your mum saw you?"

"She's not even here yet!"

Hermione just glared at him. Draco sighed – and nearly jumped out of his skin when they heard Ginny holler, "MUM! THE FLOO!"

Mrs Weasley left the room so quickly she might as well have Disapparated.

Draco blinked and stood up. "I should probably be there. In case my mum has a heart attack at the sight of the house."

Hermione gave him a poisonous look, but she didn't say anything. He glanced at the cookies once more before leaving the kitchen, a little regretfully.

Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy stepped out of the fireplace. Their robes were immaculate. Not one hair was out of place. Even Lucius' sneer was perfect.

Narcissa held out a perfect, elegant, manicured hand to Mrs Weasley. "Hello there. We've not had the pleasure of being formally introduced before, but I believe you murdered my sister."

"A pleasure indeed," Mrs Weasley replied. "Was that the day she tried to kill my daughter?"

"I believe so. To be fair, your daughter is a blood traitor."

"To be fair, so is your son."

Draco sighed, relieved. There had been no reason to worry, really. They would all get along just fine.

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><p>No, really! This would be so funny. It never happens in fics – because you don't really bring your in-laws to your friends' homes all the time – but it totally should. It's like your wife inviting you to these awful dinners with her girlfriends, except worse because the girlfriends would love to murder you.<p> 


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